


Sparda Royale

by Nupitrr



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Bad Flirting, College AU, Developing Relationship, Jager Royale is the best thing I've ever read ok?, M/M, Modern AU, Tattoos, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 23:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8597140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nupitrr/pseuds/Nupitrr
Summary: Technology can lead to some interesting situationsAlso called: The Jaeger Royale for DMC that no one asked for





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jäger Royale](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1447453) by [Variabile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Variabile/pseuds/Variabile). 



> I was gonna make this all one big work but I'll break it into 4 pieces instead. Lemme know what you think so far. Also no it's not easy to write a story in text format. You've been warned
> 
> I would also like to apologize to KalinaAnn, Variabile, and the entirety of the snk and dmc fandoms for this garbage

Unknown  
uh wtf  
who r u and y is ur ass on my phone?  
i mean its a good ass but i need like a warning

 

Me  
Holy fuck  
Oh my god I hate living rn  
PlEase delete those I'm sOrry I didn't mean to send those!

 

Unknown  
ok calm down  
im not a creep not gonna post them or somethin  
but ngl theyre good  
like rly good  
u do ur squats

 

Me  
Are you fucking joking?  
Are you trying to flirt with me after I sent those to you??  
Can't you just delete them and move on??? I don't even know who you are

 

Unknown  
back atcha  
what were u tryna accomplish  
w/ the pics I mean

 

Me  
Why do you need to know that???

 

Unknown  
cant a guy be curious?  
esp when he gets random ass pics frm a stranger  
rly quality ass pics from a salty stranger

 

Me  
My sister wanted to help me pick out underwear and I was sending them to her  
There happy??  
And could you stop with the kinda flirting thing  
It's real weird

 

Unknown  
i hope you chose the grey ones  
i hope she likes the grey too  
cuz I do  
blue's nice too but grey is great

 

Me  
I didn't buy them yet I'm going back tomorrow  
But that's not the problem here!  
Leave my ass alone!!!!!

 

Unknown  
i haven't touched your ass  
yet B)  
that can be arranged

 

Me  
I’M STRAIGHT

 

Unknown  
not w/ that cut of briefs u rnt

 

Me  
What do I have to do to get you to shut up???  
Do you want money?? I can get you money if you'll gtfo  
How much d’you want???

 

Unknown  
u use a lot of punctuation  
i like it. keep it up  
i like talking to u. arrest me officer

 

Me  
That makes one of us  
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED I AM ABOUT 10 SECONDS FROM CALLING THE COPS  
…  
Ok I cave.  
If you’re gonna keep bothering me can I at least get a name????

 

Unknown  
u first m’lady

 

Me  
Don't make me change my mind about the cops

 

Unknown  
im p sure ud just get in trouble  
callin the cops on a guy cuz u don't like how he's talkin to u

 

Me  
Will you become less obnoxious if I just tell you my name??

 

Unknown  
yesssss >:)

 

Me  
...I don't like that smiley face  
I'm Nero. Now what is your name so I can file the proper restraining order

 

Unknown  
the ghost of Christmas past  
John Cena  
your mom  
Daddy

 

Me  
I SWEAR TO GOD  
I SENT PICS TO FREAKING WEIRDO MEME MONSTER

 

Unknown  
bro chill  
its Dante  
but you can still call me daddy if ya want ;)

 

Me  
I swear I'm gonna block you

 

Trash  
well you haven't yet so…  
how did you get my number anyway?

 

Me  
I'm trying to figure that out.  
Looking through my phone right now

 

Me  
Ok so one of my friends called you once from my phone?

 

Trash  
oh yea I remember that day Lady needed a ride home  
fuckin bum

 

Me  
Yep yep  
Wait I meant right about the scenario don't insult my friends

 

Trash  
shes my friend too  
so  
fair game amirite?

 

Me  
…  
Whatever  
Look you've given me a migraine and I've got class tomorrow  
Gonna go shower and sleep

 

Trash  
u gonna accidently send me pixs from that too? ;)

 

Me  
BYE

 

Trash  
Jk jk geez you're so salty  
but like can I txt you tomorrow then?

 

Me  
I mean you CAN text me  
The question is will I respond  
Answer is no

 

Trash  
well see abt that ;)  
gnight ladys friend w/ the cute butt

 

Trash  
psst  
heeeeey  
u uppppp??  
yo don't tell me you legit blocked me  
i stg i will get lady to tell me what class you have rn  
and i will run in there  
naked

 

Me  
Omg what the hell???  
I was in class you fucknut!!! My phone was off!!!

 

Trash  
aha! he responds!  
i win ;)  
Also fucknut is a grt insult 10/10

 

Me  
Why are you bothering me now?

 

Trash  
like I said yesterday  
ur fun to talk to  
and u gotta cute butt  
and i looked up your insta thru lady  
ur cute

 

Me  
Do I need to get “heterosexual” tattooed on my face??  
You're missing that essential detail

 

Trash  
mhm sure  
follow me back will ya?

 

Me  
Fine  
Only if you post good shit

 

Me  
Oh wow ok

 

Trash  
???  
also u text me first  
are u admitting defeat?

 

Me  
What's defeating me exactly???  
You win nothing  
I was busy going through your ig  
Nice pics

 

Trash  
which one i have many

 

Me  
Yeah I see that  
Figured you have a shit ton of followers  
Your abs are impressive  
And you're not ugly  
Which is good

 

Trash  
haha thanks ;)

 

Me  
Jfc can we stop with that winky face???

 

Trash  
;);););)

 

Me  
FUCKIGN FUCK YOU  
But like yeah quality content I followed

 

Trash  
i appreciate ur participation  
did you see the ones i just posted??

 

Me  
No hold on  
What gym do you go to???  
I've been meaning to join one  
I see your abs have gotten even better than before

 

Trash  
“im straight” he says  
while staring @ my abs  
itis the planet fitness down the street from my dorm

 

Me  
Duck you straight guys can admire abs  
Fuck*  
Ugh look at you you frustrate me enough to spell wrong 

 

Trash  
i should get a medal for that

 

Me  
Look for real you're gonna get nowhere here  
I'm not that interesting to talk to  
Mostly spend my time studying  
And I've been told that I can be an ass  
So you have fun talking to me but don't start crying when I say something shitty  
I warned you

 

Trash  
im an ass too  
and you have an ass  
a vry good ass  
an asshole w/ an ass to boot

 

Me  
Did you skip everything I just said???

 

Trash  
i was getting there calm tf down  
like I was saying…  
be as much of a dick as you want  
i gots a thick skin  
muthafckin turtle over here B)

 

Me  
Whatever helps you sleep at night

 

 

Trash  
what are you doing rn?  
u busy?  
gettin it on with a hottie?  
or your right hand?  
dnt worry I don't judge

 

Me  
I was studying!!!  
God you're gross >_<

 

Trash  
Oh  
My  
God  
that was the cutest smiley I've ever seen a straight guy use  
jesus you're cute  
cutie asshole w/a cute butt and cute emojis im in love

 

Me  
I’M NOT CUTE  
I'm handsome  
Well I guess I'm handsome

 

Trash  
u guess???  
holy fuck ur hot af  
like ur that kinda guy that makes straight guys gay

 

Me  
And apparently attracts trashy gay guys with nice faces and abs

 

Trash  
assumin were talkin shit bout me now  
1.im bi, but good guess friend 2.u just admired my face AND abs  
-5 hetero points

 

Me  
What the fuck this isn't a video game I don't have stats that decrease and increase like that!!  
And there are no games with “hetero” as a stat you increase  
Unless it's like Corruption of Champions or something but that's different

 

Trash  
corruption of who?  
amazing  
cute douche straight boi stumped me w/ gaming

 

Me  
It's ah  
It's nothing  
Some weird game

 

Trash  
googling it in 5

 

Me  
oh gOD DONT

 

Trash  
ohoho what dirty secrets r u hiding?  
also are u a gamer?? I thought you said you were lame af

 

Me  
I'll explain in a second okay???  
Yeah I'd call myself a gamer. Mostly PC gaming tho  
My roommate had a ps4 I borrow sometimes

 

Trash  
fuck yea u just got +10 hotness

 

Me  
Could we stop with me being a game character???  
And I'm like not hot  
I'm average, pretty boring in my opinion

 

Trash  
well u dont SEEM boring  
SEEM like my kinda guy  
we should hang out

 

Me  
How about no  
Like never  
You stay in your corner of the world  
I stay in mine

 

Trash  
u realize we probably live within walking distance from each other  
hellooooooo?  
didja pick up and move or something

 

Me  
I was playing something calm down  
May or may not have been playing a drinking game with my roommate

 

Trash  
which one?

 

Me  
Big bang theory  
We hate the show but the drinking game was too good to pass up  
Kinda rly drunk now haha

 

Trash  
his perfect grammar and spelling are faltering holy shitttt  
u must be shitfaced

 

Me  
Juss a little yea  
Hey you still have those pics I sent you???

 

Trash  
what would u say if i said yes ;)

 

Me  
…  
Cool whatever  
Wait no that's bad  
Delete those!!!please?

 

Trash  
ur hot & ur cold  
ur yes & ur no  
ur in & ur out  
ur up & ur down

 

Me  
Don't you Katy Perry me mister  
Delete the pictures nowwww

 

Trash  
but they're rly good!  
ill never find an ass like this again!  
and what if i never meet u and I can't see it irl

 

Me  
Don't care  
Rly weird for a stranger to have pics  
Of my butt  
On their phone

 

Trash  
fine hold on  
Sending image  
Sending image

 

Me  
YO WHAT THE FUCK  
I ASKED YOU TO DELETE THE PICS  
NOT SEND YOUR OWN  
I dig the boxer briefs red is your color

 

Trash  
thank u ;)  
so r we even??  
can i keep them?

 

Me  
...for now  
But next time I say delete I expect them gone  
Got it????

 

Trash  
yes master

 

Me  
JESUS FUCK  
Oh my gOd  
My roommate looked over at my phone  
Cuz I was blushing  
I think he thinks I'm gay  
This is all your fault!!! I'm gonna kill you!!!

 

Trash  
hahaha operation bend the straight boy is in effect

 

Me  
No it’s not!!!  
I am and always will be straight  
No matter how many pics of your body you send me  
Even though I begrudgingly admit it's a good body…  
Fuck what am I saying???  
Hold on I need more alcohol to talk to you

 

Trash  
admit it im winning ;)  
whatcha drinking

 

Me  
Sipping beer  
Taking shots of tequila

 

Trash  
good choices  
u can hold your shit kid

 

Me  
Bro what the fuck??? Don't call me that  
First daddy now kid what kinda weird shit are you into??  
The kinkshaming begins 

 

Trash  
noooooo  
its just a nickname xD

 

Me  
Mhm sure  
Hold on I'm changing

 

Trash  
pics???  
preferably the ass  
chest is fine too  
or face  
u gotta a cute face  
face is always good

 

Me  
Fuck off weirdo  
I'm really not that special appearance wise  
And I don't rly have abs especially nothing like yours

 

Trash  
hell if i care  
this is a judgement free zone  
c'mon just do it i sent u chest and butt u owe me at least a chest shot

 

Me  
That's what she said hehe  
Sending image  
Sending image

 

Trash  
u dirty little fuck ;)  
holy shit u lil liar

 

Me  
???

 

Trash  
well first of all u said u were drinking beer & tequila  
thats Jack

 

Me  
I switched cuz I'm going to bed soon  
As you see I'm in sweats  
What else is wrong

 

Trash  
UR SEXY AF  
i love the tattoo holy hell how long did it take?

 

Me  
Ha thx my sister flipped when I told her I was getting a sleeve tat  
It was three different sessions. Hurt like a fucker but totally worth it  
Sending image  
That's the other one close up. The pic I sent doesn't show it well  
Sending image  
And this is the one on my back

 

Trash  
damn u  
i have a thing for tats & piercings  
fuckin kill me y dont ya

 

Me  
Ok well then you're SOL then huh

 

Trash  
id love to kiss that one on your chest  
run my tongue over it  
run my tongue over you abs in general bcuz they're like  
damn

 

Me  
Ah ok  
Well shit  
Thanks for letting me in on your fantasies????

 

Trash  
Srry was in the moment 

 

Me  
Ummmmm  
It’s too late and I'm too drunk for you to be flirting so hard  
Did you pass out or somethin? That's my job I’m the drunk one

 

Trash  
im admiring the pics you sent  
u said ur not impressive appearance wise  
but ur face got me like damn  
and that v is mind blowing  
and the fact that ur hand is on your crotch  
+20 sexy

 

Me  
Haha thanks I guess  
I've never really thought that I was like  
Spectacular  
I'm like a 6 on a good day  
You're like a 9 it isn't fair

 

Trash  
did u do that on purpose ;)

 

Me  
Do what?  
OH MY GOD YOU FILTHY FUCKER I WILL CASTRATE YOU

 

Trash  
hehehe  
but fr stop sayin u ain't cute cuz like  
ur hella cute  
at least my dick thinks so ;)

 

Me  
I swear I'm not drunk enough for your shit  
Alright I'm going to sleep  
Gotta get the hangover over with eventually

 

Trash  
i should bring u coffee

 

Me  
No I will stab you in the eye of you show up at my door  
Send Lady

 

Trash  
whatever u say cutie asshole

 

Me  
My name is Nero  
Also just noticed  
In that pic you sent I can see that outline  
You ain't slick

 

Trash  
babe i know ur name  
its fun to tease tho  
aight im telling lady rn that ill pay for your coffee and painkillers tomorrow  
sleep well  
enjoy my dick ;)

 

 

 

Trash  
u kinky lil fuck  
wake tf up

 

Me  
What do you want NOW????

 

Trash  
i was looking @ the texts  
cuz ur pics still have me mesmerized  
and I remembered u never told me abt that game  
so i googled it and played it  
wtf i didn't take u for the kinky type

 

Me  
There's a lot you don't know about me  
But apparently you know really good coffee drinks???  
What am I drinking it's great?

 

Trash  
white mocha w/ cinnamon dolce  
its the shit  
dont change the subject  
u kinky lil douche

 

Me  
Do you really think I'm a douche  
Or are you just repeating what I told you before?

 

Trash  
i mean ur definitely not the nicest Who in Whoville

 

Me  
What world do you live in  
I'm curious  
You pull this shit outta your ass I swear

 

Trash  
speaking of ass  
Sending image  
Sending image  
first one is for u  
my ass isn't anything like urs but it's still p good

 

Me  
That is a quality ass, won't argue with the facts

 

Trash  
second one is a pic i drew of u last nite

 

Me  
Wow holy shit thanks  
I didn't know you were an artist???

 

Trash  
well uve hardly ask abt me  
i could be a serial killer  
i could be in Montana rn  
u wouldn't know or care would u

 

Me  
I mean I do  
It's just  
I'm not used to someone paying me so much attention  
Omg so distracted  
It's so weird but like  
I like it???  
I'm an attention driven creature and I love this

 

Trash  
what do u love?  
ill give u more of it  
and more art  
im working on a nice one rn

 

Me  
I like the attention you give me  
Keep it up  
:)

 

Trash  
I GOT A SMILEY FACEEEEE  
best wednesday ever tbh  
like i get cute abs, cute face, cute smiley  
im dyin rn

 

Me  
Sending image  
Here have an actual smiley face  
Excuse my atrocious bedhead I haven't even gotten dressed smh

 

Trash  
r u kidding me rn  
how do you look so good  
w/ a throbbing headache and einstein hair wtf  
not fair  
ur not allowed to be so fuckin hot  
also stop changin the subject

 

Me  
Same here  
I asked about if you think I'm a douche

 

Trash  
i asked abt ur weird game first!!  
i get priority

 

Me  
Fine whatever  
My roommate showed it to me  
It was kinda fun in the way that it reminded me of a classic RPG  
Until a tentacle monster attacked me  
Then I was really confused but kept playing

 

Trash  
same here  
but like i went to the mountains  
bigger mistake than that time i glued my hand to the wall while i was high

 

Me  
Wow you sound like an idiot  
But it's a fun game right?

 

Trash  
i admit u have good gaming choice  
and ur a kinky lil fuck  
i dig it ;)

 

Me  
Thanks I pride myself in my knowledge of obscure games and tv shows  
But do you think I’m a douche???  
My sister tells me I’m too hard on myself  
But I’ve got an affinity for pushing people away with my shittiness

 

Trash  
like i said b4  
ur not the nicest  
but i like u  
saltiness is good in moderation

 

Me  
Not helpful

 

Trash  
it totaly is  
gave u some stellar life advice  
aint even askin for anything in return  
but I always accept pics  
dick pics preferred ;)

 

Me  
I knew you couldn't help  
Fuck it nevermind

 

Trash  
im tryna keep u from over thinking  
trust me babe ur wonderful  
to me at least  
and thats all that rly matters rite?

 

Me  
That’s debatable  
But now that you’ve brought it to my attention  
What DO you do??? I know you’re an artist, so can you show me some other pics you’ve done???

 

Trash  
yea sure lemme grab my sketchbook  
but i too am a couch potato  
spend my days on netflix & take all the naps  
when im not doing that im probably studying or at the gym  
gotta keep my abs looking 100 ;)

 

Me  
Well that explains your interest in me  
You have as much of a social life as I do

 

Trash  
actually i go out sometimes  
and i dont think u have left ur house for something other than school for a while

 

Me  
Shut up  
Just because I'm not constantly partying doesn't mean I have no life  
I just prefer less social in my life  
I'm an introvert, y’know

 

Trash  
no i didnt know  
now i do tho  
i shuld come over  
we can watch netflix  
& chill  
thats what introverts do rite??? ;)

 

Me  
...Anyway  
Show me your pics later, I've got class to get to

 

Trash  
so ull txt me l8r rite?

 

Me  
Only if your spelling improves  
I swear it's gotten worse since our first conversation

 

Trash  
aye aye captain ;)

 

 

 

Me  
help what do i do???

 

Maneater  
What did you do this time

 

Me  
theres a cute boi  
straight boi  
well he says hes straight but i say bs  
hes a gamer and rly hot and has tattoos and fuck me hes cute

 

Maneater  
Are you talking about Nero?

 

Me  
yesssss

 

Maneater  
Don’t touch him  
My precious son doesn’t need your corrupting hands on him

 

Me  
corrupt?  
jesus is my best friend :)

 

Maneater  
…  
Anyway don’t touch him  
If he tells me that some guy has been harassing him  
I’ll kick your ass

 

Me  
i cant believe u think i would harass such a cutie

 

Maneater  
I’ve known you for years, Dante  
I know what you’re capable of  
Especially when there’s a cute guy involved

 

Me  
u know how i am w/ cute guys ;)

 

Maneater  
Yes  
Which is precisely why I’m telling you to kindly fuck off  
Even though Nero has probably said it already  
But seeing as he is new to your stupidity I’ll do it again  
FUCK OFF

 

Me  
y u gotta b so ruuude  
dont u know im human toooo

 

Maneater  
Don’t you sing at me mister  
Paws off

 

Me  
i will promise nothing  
if he flirts back u cant say shit

 

Maneater  
That’ll be the day

 

 

Trash  
did u buy the grey ones?

 

Me  
The what???

 

Trash  
the underwear  
didja ever go get them?

 

Me  
Well mister nosy I did go get them  
But that doesn’t concern you

 

Trash  
u just told me  
so it concerns me now ;)  
the grey was the best  
tho the blue ones look go with ur skin

 

Me  
UM I’M UNCOMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT THIS  
ESPECIALLY WITH SOMEONE I’VE NEVER MET  
I did buy those two along with some others  
BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT

 

Trash  
haha win for me  
btw i dig your hair  
its v white and looks like rly nice

 

Me  
Uh thanks?  
I do get compliments on my hair a lot  
People always ask how I got it that shade  
I tell them a lot of bleach ‘cause it’s weird to have naturally white hair

 

Trash  
yo fr?  
well then  
does the carpet match the drapes?

 

Me  
MOTHERFUCKER  
...Yes  
Not like you’ll get a chance to see anyway  
I’m gonna call the cops if you’re seen anywhere near my house

 

Trash  
dont worry  
just gonna look at those pics u sent me ;)

 

Me  
Delete those  
That was a drunk accident

 

Trash  
a very happy accident  
i must be an astronomer  
cuz u got me seein stars ;)

 

Me  
I’m gonna puke  
You’re really bad at this whole ‘flirting’ thing  
Like that’s the worse pick up line I’ve gotten in awhile  
And I hear a lot of them

 

Trash  
alrite mr popular  
dont rub ur dating life in my face

 

Me  
What dating life???

 

Trash  
whos telling you the pick up lines  
is she cute? do i have good competition?

 

Me  
First: mostly guys because everyone makes the same mistake you’re making  
Second: you don’t have competition  
Third: hard to compete if you NEVER STARTED

 

Trash  
man dont get my hopes up like that :(

 

Me  
I don’t know why you’re still trying  
I’m like 99% sure I’m straight as a rail

 

Trash  
thats 1% not certain  
and rails can bend  
not the best analogy 0/10

 

Me  
Shut up you know what I mean  
I’m straight. Hetero. I like girls.

 

Trash  
keep telling urself that  
college is a grt time for exploring urself

 

Me  
Mhm and I’ll pass  
Besides, hypothetically if I were bi  
Who’s saying I’d like you?

 

Trash  
well uve tolerated me up to now  
sent me half naked pics of u TWICE  
let me buy u coffee  
and shown me ur kinky games  
thats flirting, ur just denying it

 

Me  
Not flirting  
I’m making friends  
Or trying to

 

Trash  
friends dont send friends pics like those  
not complaining tho

 

Me  
Delete them  
I’ll delete yours  
Also your happy trail is white???

 

Trash  
u looked ;)  
n yes it is were twins  
well i hope not  
dont want incest

 

Me  
Sometimes I just let my finger hover over the Block key  
And consider what would happen if I just hit it  
If I would have some peace of mind again  
And every time I make the mistake of not pressing it

 

Trash  
wow harsh dude

 

Me  
Just delete the pics please

 

Trash  
what do i get if i do?

 

Me  
The sense of pride that comes knowing you haven’t pissed me off  
The potential of talking to me again  
Maybe a smiley emoji

 

Trash  
ur gonna hafta try harder than that  
how abt u convince me ur not into me  
and ill delete the evidence

 

Me  
That should be easy enough  
Fine  
I’ll delete yours too

 

Trash  
no  
keep them

 

Me  
I don’t want your nudes on my phone  
It’s weird  
And I have no clue why I haven’t deleted them yet

 

Trash  
what if i just came jogging by ur house?  
whhat would u do???

 

Me  
Uh okay then  
Considering I’m on the top floor…  
And you don’t know my address  
Nothing

 

Trash  
but what if i broke in  
or scaled ur bldg?

 

Me  
Then I’d finally have a valid reason to call the cops on you  
Which I probably would have done immediately if we’d met under different circumstances  
Like in person and not by my mistakes

 

Trash  
very good mistakes  
u wouldnt call the cops on me  
i would woo u with my charms  
and wed ride into the sunset

 

Me  
Keep telling yourself that

 

 

Trash  
yknow what i could go for rn?

 

Me  
I’m actually afraid to ask but I will  
What?

 

Trash  
pizza  
like holy fuck  
ive been too broke to order any  
but i sooooo want some

 

Me  
Y’know this is the first time that I can honestly agree with you

 

Trash  
aha  
i got an agreement  
we should get pizza together  
what do u like on urs?  
cant stand olives

 

Me  
Not the biggest fan of olives either  
I like pineapples on mine  
Or just pepperonis

 

Trash  
o god  
ur one of those freaks

 

Me  
Excuse me???

 

Trash  
did i stutter?  
pineapple on pizza is so gross

 

Me  
Alright now I'm gonna have to fight you

 

Trash  
come @ me pretty boi  
no one likes pineapple

 

Me  
I LIKE PINEAPPLE

 

Trash  
well now ur name is “nobody”

 

Me  
Jfc you piss me off so much  
Well I like spinach too  
And olives are just nasty 

 

Trash  
ok maybe this can work  
half pineapple half everything  
minus olives  
bby we can make this work

 

Me  
Two separate pizzas work too???

 

Trash  
touche

 

Me  
Fuck now I REALLY want pizza  
This is all your fault

 

Trash  
i men  
im finna ta order some pizza in a second  
come over and u can have some ;)

 

Me  
I’d rather be run over thank you very much

 

Trash  
:(  
y dont u love me???

 

Me  
We’ve been over this, Dante

 

Trash  
have we? i seem to have forgotten  
ommg  
u actuallyy used my name

 

Me  
Yeah your point being?

 

Trash  
im touched  
u must rly like me :’)

 

Me  
Whatever helps you sleep at night  
But fr I could go for pizza now

 

Trash  
limited time offer  
u can come over  
get free pizza  
and cuddle with me

 

Me  
With how lonely and hungry I am that's almost tempting

 

Trash  
aha!  
id also just kill to hear your voice  
bet its sexy af 

 

Me  
My voice is pretty average  
At least I think so

 

Trash  
o rlly?

 

Incoming call from: Trash  
Call ignored

 

Me  
Dude wtf???  
You don't just call me randomly  
I need like a week of emotional preparation for a phone call  
Especially from someone like you

 

Trash  
someone like me???

 

Me  
Yeah  
A creep who wants to fuck me

 

Trash  
i never said I only wanted to fuck you  
itd be a nice bonus tho  
i wanna like hang with you  
take u out to coffee  
make ya laugh  
bet u have a cute laugh 

 

Me  
Wooooow that's gay  
But still

 

Incoming call from: Trash  
Call ignored 

 

Me  
STOP IT  
What part of no phone calls don't you get

 

Trash  
my b that was an accident  
but fr if you ever want some pizza and a nice laugh  
hmu

 

Me  
That's actually very nice of you  
Thank you, Dante :)

 

Trash  
woo the smiley of victory!

 

Me  
Don't get too cocky  
You've pleased me for tonight  
I have a morning class tomorrow so…  
Talk later?

 

Trash  
if u text me  
bet ur bottom dollar I'll be here ;)

**Author's Note:**

> It'll only get gayer from here folks. Also there will be mental health things so much fluff. And the fourth chapter will be smut, so prepare for the rating to get bumped.


End file.
